ETIQUETTE OF VISITING THE SICK ; JILL BOLTE from her book " STROKE OF INSIGHT"

WHAT TO DO /SAY ....HOW TO BEHAVE WHEN VISITING A 'COMA' PATIENT ( for that matter, any other ailing being)

July 13, 2012 at 8:10pm

The notes below is written by Jill Bolte who went into comma from a massive brain haemorrhage.                    

FORTY THINGS I NEEDED THE MOST   

• I am not stupid.I am wounded. Please RESPECT me.
• Come close,speak SLOWLY,and enunciate CLEARLY
• REPEAT yourself-assume I know nothing,and start from the beginning, OVER and OVER
• Be as PATIENT with me the 29th time you teach me something, as you were the first
• Approach me with an OPEN HEART and SLOW YOUR ENERGY DOWN.Take your time.
• Be aware of what your BODY LANGUAGE and FACIAL EXPRESSIONS are communicating to me.
• Make EYE CONTACT with me.I am in here.Come FIND ME. Encourage me.
• Please DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE.
• Touch me appropriately and CONNECT with me.
• Honour the HEALING POWER OF SLEEP.
• Protect my energy.NO talk radio,TV or nervous visitors.!Keep visitation BRIEF(5 minutes)
• STIMULATE my brain when i have energy to learn something new,BUT know that a small amount may wear me out quickly.
• Use age appropriate(toddler)educational toys and books to teach me.
• Intoduce me to the world KINESTHETICALLY.Let me feel everything.I am an INFANT again'
• Teach me with monkey-see,monkey do behaviour.
• Trust what i'm trying-just not with your skill level or on your schedule.
• Ask me multiple choice questions. AVOID yes/no questions.
• ASK me questions with specific answers .Allow me time to hunt  for answers.
• Do not asses my cognitive ability by how fast i can think.
• Handle me gently as you would handle a NEWBORN.
• Speak to me DIRECTLY. Not about me to others.
• CHEER me on.Expect to recover ,completely,even it takes 20 years!
• Trust that my brain can continue to learn.
• Break all actions down to smaller steps of actions.
• Look for what obstacles prevent me  from succeeding on a task.
• Clarify for me what the next level or step is so i know what i am working toward.
• Remember that i have to be proficient at one level of function before i can move on to the next level.
• Celebrate all of my life little successes.They inspire me.
• Please don't finish my sentences for me or fill in words i can't find.i need to work my brain.
• If i can't find an old file,make it a point to create a new one.
• i may want you to think i understand  more than i really do.
• Focus on what I CAN DO rather than bemoan what i cannot do.
• Introduce me to my old life.Don't assume that because i cannot play like i used to play that i wont continue  to enjoy music or an instrument,etc.
• Remember that in the absence  of some functions ,i have gained other abilities.
• keep me familiar with my family,friends ,and loving support.Build collage wall of cards and photos that i can see.Label them so i can review them.
• Call in the troops! Create a HEALING TEAM  for me.Send word out to everyone so hey can send me love.Keep them abreast of my condition and ask them to do specific things to support me-like visualize me being able to swallow with ease or rocking my body up into a sitting position.
• LOVE me for who i am today.Don't hold me to being the person i was before . i have a different brain now .
• Show me old video footage of me doing things to remind me about how i spoke ,walked,an gestured.
• Remember that my medications probably make me feel tired ,as well as mask my ability to know what it feels like to be me.